Remember back when you were just a wee little lad; when you had no responsibilities and the three things on your todo list for the day were: find worms, eat worms, and play with Steve from across the street?...(read more)
Look at the picture above you. Look at that beautiful glistening bacon grease. Look at that chewy rubbery bacon fat. Look at that crispity crisp bacon edge. If this doesn’t make your mouth water, then you might as well become a...(read more)
Every passing day brings us closer and closer to the 2012 Apocalypse as predicted by the Mayan who carved ‘December 21st, 2012′ and then quit his job because he was sick of it and wanted to be a DJ....(read more)
From clothing to robotic enhancements, show your friends you’re better than them.
My boarding gate was too far and I almost missed my flight to the Bahamas.
People are already boarding and you're still buying your duty free cartons of cigarettes. But, you're not worried at all because you have the Samsonite Micro Luggage with attached scooter. You stuff your crap into the carry-on-able luggage and scoot on down to the gate, not forgetting to hit the "human conveyor belt" for super-speed.
from Amazon.com
It takes me 10 minutes to walk from the Starbucks to my office, but only 6 minutes to finish my drink.
Motorized rollerskates? Who woulda thunk it. It seems we've leapfrogged the whole flying cars thing and at least one thing from those crazy 1920s predict the future articles has come true. They see you rollin', but you've zipped by too fast to hear them hatin'.
from spnKIX
The neighborhood homeless man tried to talk to me. Now I have to take a different route to work.
The world is a scary place and you've heard the saying that people are inherently evil. Protect the all your credit cards and cash from that homeless man that asked you for some change, for he might one day rob you. This biometric wallet is virtually indestructible and only opens to your fingerprint. For a less expensive one.
from Dunhill
I forgot to pack my $500 Armani sweatpants and left them in the hotel room.
You've lost over $10,000 worth of items by forgetting them in hotels and you're starting to think maybe the affair isn't worth it anymore. We're here to stop you from thinking such silly thoughts. Never unpack again with this luggage. Hang it up and it unfolds with all your stuff neatly inside. Also makes for a fast getaway if need be.
from Hammacher
The apocalypse is coming this year. How am I suppose to live a first world life with the world blowing up?
While people are digging through the dirt looking for bugs to eat, you'll be living like a king in your underground bunker with Shelf Reliance's 1 year food supply (for 1 person). It has a shelf life of 25 years and provides a whopping 4,866 servings. Or trade a can of peas for an Apocalyptic manicure.
from Costco
Walking down Wall St. is getting a bit hairy. These OWS kids are starting to get a little rowdy and I fear for my safety.
If you really don't deserve to be shot in the face, then check this out. Miguel Caballero makes fashionable and discreet bulletproof clothing out of Columbia. Some clients include Kings, Presidents, and Steven Seagal so you know you'll be in good hands with this polo shirt.
from Fresh Polos
