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When you just feel the need to throw money at your monitor because you wallet is getting too heavy.

Plastinated Human Body

Plastinated Human Body

Problem:

My buddies and I went hunting and they all killed something for mounting except me.

Solution:

Bear and tiger head mounts are for wimps. If I'm going to have a trophy, it's going to be of a real mother effin dead person. Talk about of discussion starter! Buy it for only 100 grand and start thinking of a cool story of how you kidnapped and put him on a remote island and started hunting him like game.


Tiny Houses

Tiny Houses

Problem:

I've been watching reruns of Pimp My Ride and now want something inside the same larger thing.

Solution:

How about a tiny house inside your house? The guys at Tumbleweed Tiny House Company sell ready made, kits, or plans of houses small enough that you don't need a permit to build. Use it as your bedroom or mancave or secret hideout in the woods where you kidnap and murder people or whatever.


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IKEA Home

IKEA Home

Problem:

So apparently green rug and brown walls with movie posters taped up with scotch tape makes people puke as they enter my home.

Solution:

You've made a huge mistake so next time just go with a prefabricated and furnished home by Ideabox and IKEA. Doesn't everyone think everything in IKEA would look good in their own home anyways? Might as well just have them furnish it.


Emperor Computer Station

Emperor Computer Station

Problem:

Playing World of Warcraft for 20 hours straight kinda makes my back hurt.

Solution:

What are these things called chairs and desks? Why are we still using them? A flat piece of wood you sit on, then another piece of wood you put stuff on...how primitive. It's time get with the times with... the *explosions* Emperor Workstation! Pretend you're in the matrix while playing Words with Friends on Facebook!


Tentacle Shower Head

Tentacle Shower Head

Problem:

One side of my body gets more water pressure than the other side so only half of my body feels clean when I get out of the shower.

Solution:

This tentacle-resembling shower head from Vado looks intimidating but enticing at the same time. What to do, what to do... with all SIX snaking shower heads? Perhaps one for each limb and the last one for the head. Or you can shower with five other people.


AquaClimb Poolside Climbing

AquaClimb Poolside Climbing

Problem:

I get the urge to climb up a slippery wall whenever I go swimming.

Solution:

You already can play pool in a pool, so why not go rock climbing at the same time also? AquaClimb can be attached to any poolside and includes handles that can be rotated 90 degrees to increase difficulty. Perfect for young children, especially under the age of 5.


Cereal Marshmallows

Cereal Marshmallows

Problem:

I only eat the marshmallows so a box of Lucky Charms is only 1 serving.

Solution:

We all know the tiny marshmallows are the best part of cereal. If only there was a cereal made of ONLY the marshmallows...There is! Cereal Marshmallows is simply just a bag filled with delicious cereal marshmallow goodness with a hint of diabetes sprinkled on top. First World Living at its finest.


Biometric Wallet

Biometric Wallet

Problem:

The neighborhood homeless man tried to talk to me. Now I have to take a different route to work.

Solution:

The world is a scary place and you've heard the saying that people are inherently evil. Protect the all your credit cards and cash from that homeless man that asked you for some change, for he might one day rob you. This biometric wallet is virtually indestructible and only opens to your fingerprint. For a less expensive one.


Home Beer Brewing System

Home Beer Brewing System

Problem:

My friend had a chocolate fountain for the Super Bowl party this year. I'm hosting it next year and there's no way I can beat a chocolate fountain.

Solution:

Chocolate fountains are great and very few things can beat it at a party. One thing that can, though, is homemade beer. Impress the shit out of your friends and family with "Steve's Micro Brew" from the far-away lands of Steve's basement and featuring Steve's special sauce.


Carry-on Closet

Carry-on Closet

Problem:

I forgot to pack my $500 Armani sweatpants and left them in the hotel room.

Solution:

You've lost over $10,000 worth of items by forgetting them in hotels and you're starting to think maybe the affair isn't worth it anymore. We're here to stop you from thinking such silly thoughts. Never unpack again with this luggage. Hang it up and it unfolds with all your stuff neatly inside. Also makes for a fast getaway if need be.


One Year Food Supply

One Year Food Supply

Problem:

The apocalypse is coming this year. How am I suppose to live a first world life with the world blowing up?

Solution:

While people are digging through the dirt looking for bugs to eat, you'll be living like a king in your underground bunker with Shelf Reliance's 1 year food supply (for 1 person). It has a shelf life of 25 years and provides a whopping 4,866 servings. Or trade a can of peas for an Apocalyptic manicure.


Ponton Indoor Fireplace

Ponton Indoor Fireplace

Problem:

I have a romantic date tonight, but I don't have a fireplace to sip wine in front of like in the movies.

Solution:

First world living means combining one of the most primitive technologies with the most modern. The Ponton Fireplace lets your bring one of nature's most powerful elements wherever you want. It burns completely safe bio-alcohol fuel that lasts 1.5-2.5 hours. For a more affordable but equally cool one, check out this one.


Boxx Scooter

Boxx Scooter

Problem:

I like to ride my vespa around everywhere, but people make fun of me cause it looks dorky.

Solution:

Walking sucks and vespas make you look like a mall cop. Trade it in for this sweet looking all electric scooter. It gets whopping 40 miles on one charge and charges through a regular outlet. Taking it out on the streets gets you up to 35MPH or just zip around in your palace like a boss.


Aquarium Coffee Table

Aquarium Coffee Table

Problem:

I want an aquarium, but I don't have enough room in the house for it.

Solution:

Good news! Your coffee table is now an aquarium! "But, where's my coffee table gone?" you ask. Ah, that's the crazy part, my friend. The aquarium IS the coffee table! But how?! MAGIC!


Dr. Suess Taxidermy

Dr. Suess Taxidermy

Problem:

I loved Dr. Seuss as a kid and want to let everyone know I'm awesome.

Solution:

The first thing I thought of when someone said "Dr. Seuss art" is taxidermy. Consequently, part art and part taxidermy equals 100% awesome, and that's what you would be if you owned one of these. It costs an arm and a leg, but boy would you have a nice discussion piece if you had this hanging up over your mantle.


WiFi and 2GB USB Cufflinks

WiFi and 2GB USB Cufflinks

Problem:

Sometimes I daydream about being James Bond and having all his cool gadgets.

Solution:

Step 1 to becoming a super spy: get WiFi hotspot capable cufflinks with 2GB USB storage so you can check Facebook wherever you are. Step 2: there is no step two because you're now a man with WiFi with storage cufflinks. Now get ready to go kick some ass and get some international model babes.


Pet Treadmill

Pet Treadmill

Problem:

I ate a huge dinner and now I'm too sleepy to walk my dog.

Solution:

See, what you do is get one of these Fit Fur Life Treadmills, put it in front of your 90inch LCD TV, turn on the nature channel, put your dog on the treadmill, and crank it up to a nice jogging pace. Your pet won't know the difference and will have the time of its life while you lay down and become one with the sofa.


Spacebook Dual 17″ LED Laptop

Spacebook Dual 17″ LED Laptop

Problem:

My laptop screen is too small to play Starcraft and watch Jersey Shore at the same time.

Solution:

That sounds like a real situation you got right there. Fortunately, the creators of the Spacebook Dual 17inch LCD Laptop had you in mind when they were building it. Now, imagine showing up in a Starbucks with this badass and playing Microsoft Pinball while the hipsters rage on their 9in Macbook Pros.


Bookcase Chair

Bookcase Chair

Problem:

I have ADD and can't stick with a book to read.

Solution:

This bookcase chair or chair bookcase will satisfy you ADD tendencies and indecisiveness by having all your books always within arm's reach. The actual chair's angle is adjustable for different tasks and has three areas for book storage. Be the commander of your book club with this awesome chair.


Dyson Animal Vacuum

Dyson Animal Vacuum

Problem:

It's a quiet Friday night and I'm home alone with only a vacuum. I want to use it, but it doesn't suck hard enough to do anything.

Solution:

It's time to upgrade to the newest and baddest, buddy. Dyson's brand new DC41 Animal Vacuum will suck the crap out of anything it touches. Its ball technology allows easy movement and turning for wherever you and your vacuum want to go to be alone.


Dyson Hot Fan Heater

Dyson Hot Fan Heater

Problem:

I have Heated Slippers and a Heated Mattress Pad, but the room itself is still too frigid.

Solution:

From the  hater of all things with blades, techno wizard inventor billionaire, Sir James Dyson, is this fan-less heater. It heats the room faster than its competitors and projects heat further out. Its also safe with no visible heating elements. Use it without the heat as a blade-less fan too!


Bacon Frosting

Bacon Frosting

Problem:

I'm craving some bacon but I'm too lazy to get off my ass to make some.

Solution:

Whoa whoa whoa, stop right there. Don't waste energy. Have this bacon frosting! Just tilt your head back and squeeze it all into your mouth, big boy. Delicious isn't it? Use it as body soap and lotion as well and smell of bacon all day. Getting hungry? Give your skin a lick to tide you over 'till you can get back to your BACON FROSTING.


Swimming Pool Pool Table

Swimming Pool Pool Table

Problem:

You know, sometimes I just want to play pool in a pool, but even I know that is stupid.

Solution:

Yo, we got you here at First World Living. We heard you liked playing pool in a pool so we put a pool table in a pool so you can play pool in the pool son! It's waterproof obviously and pretty silly.


Bulletproof Polo Shirt

Bulletproof Polo Shirt

Problem:

Walking down Wall St. is getting a bit hairy. These OWS kids are starting to get a little rowdy and I fear for my safety.

Solution:

If you really don't deserve to be shot in the face, then check this out. Miguel Caballero makes fashionable and discreet bulletproof clothing out of Columbia. Some clients include Kings, Presidents, and Steven Seagal so you know you'll be in good hands with this polo shirt.


Sofa Hanger

Sofa Hanger

Problem:

I have to reach all the way to the table to grab my cup of Panda Poop Tea and sometimes I spill it onto my clothes.

Solution:

Check this out. Hangs right onto the arm of your sofa so everything is in reach. Your Panda Poop Tea, magazines, newspapers, put your TV remote on the side and never have to look for it again.


23andMe Genetic Testing

23andMe Genetic Testing

Problem:

It takes me an extra 10 minutes to fall asleep at night because I'm worrying if my dad has passed down his erectile dysfunction to me.

Solution:

23andMe won't exactly answer that for you but they might give you a better idea. What they do is genetic testing for health and diseases. You send them a sample of your DNA using their kit and in 6-8 weeks, receive personal genetic information about your DNA. Pretty cool!