Remember back when you were just a wee little lad; when you had no responsibilities and the three things on your todo list for the day were: find worms, eat worms, and play with Steve from across the street?...(read more)
Look at the picture above you. Look at that beautiful glistening bacon grease. Look at that chewy rubbery bacon fat. Look at that crispity crisp bacon edge. If this doesn’t make your mouth water, then you might as well become a...(read more)
Every passing day brings us closer and closer to the 2012 Apocalypse as predicted by the Mayan who carved ‘December 21st, 2012’ and then quit his job because he was sick of it and wanted to be a DJ....(read more)
Up your productivity in the office or spend even more time procrastinating. More likely the latter.
I was eating saltines with rare Russian caviar while watching the latest torrented episode of Breaking Bad. Now there is an audible crunch whenever I press the letters "E," "R," and "L."
Research shows that our hands are dirtier than something real dirty, so who knows what's growing inside the depths of our keyboards. Logitech's Washable Keyboard is a must have for parents with teenage sons and everyone else.
The coffee was too hot and I burned my tongue. Now I can't eat or drink anything warm without excruciating pain.
We've all had this happen before. Sipping scalding hot lava coffee and having the fires of hell blast down on your tongue and roof of your mouth. It's surprising that a temperature checking apparatus is not built in with every mug, we're living in the first world for god's sake!
I knocked my drink over my keyboard...AGAIN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
Who seriously has never knocked over a drink and ruined important documents and expensive keyboards? It's happened to my countless times and now the syrup from that coke makes my 'S' key ssssssssstick. Keep the cup off the desk and safe from spills while creating more desk space with this handy Table Cup Holder Clip.
My mom blames the electricity bill increase on my second iPad and PS Vita.
Did you know that leaving electronic devices plugged in, but not in use, still draws power? Belkin's Conserve Socket solves this problem by allowing you to set a timer that automatically shuts off the power to save energy. It's also great for things like curling irons and heaters so you'll never have to worry about leaving them on.
I've finished my bottle of beer and there's 10 more minutes until the next commercial break.
Sure you could buy a mini-fridge and place it next to the couch, but that's crude and bad fing shu (it's the new fung shui). Man Tables, as they're called, disguise a refrigerating unit in a high quality crafted table. It comes in three different finishes and we think they're great for you fine ladies too.
from Man Tables
I watched some videos on my laptop and ...uh... accidentally made a mess on my keyboard.
Wherever you decide to make your mess, from doorknobs and walls to hotel remote controls, Cyber Clean's cleaning compound (say that 10 times fast) will clean that sucker up lickety split. The patented high-tech cleaning compound is effective at removing 99.99% of harmful particles. Which leaves the question WTF is in that 0.01%?
I forgot to pack my $500 Armani sweatpants and left them in the hotel room.
You've lost over $10,000 worth of items by forgetting them in hotels and you're starting to think maybe the affair isn't worth it anymore. We're here to stop you from thinking such silly thoughts. Never unpack again with this luggage. Hang it up and it unfolds with all your stuff neatly inside. Also makes for a fast getaway if need be.
It's only 9:00AM at work, the bacon toothpaste taste is gone, the microwave is broken, I'm out of bacon jerky and ate my backup bacon I keep in my pockets. How will I get through the day?
You could lick the bacon grease that's dripped down your leg from your back pocket like a crack fiend, or you can bust out your binoculars you've filled with bacon flavored vodka just for emergencies like this.
When I charge too many gadgets at once, the wires get all tangled and look messy.
Brighten up your home or office with a little fake green grass. But hey, it also doubles as a charging station so it doesn't just take up space for nothing! Run your wires through the bottom and lay your iPhones on the soft surface for a neat and refreshing change.
My boss makes me write a reports. I can't believe I'm only getting paid 90k a year to do this crap.
Relax and take a deep breath. After work, we'll go to the doctor's and get a prescription for Xanax OK? Or we can try a more holistic approach and get one of these zen gardens for your desk. Staring at its lines and curves may lower stress and prevent a heart attack. Maybe we should have given one to Zombie Dick Cheney.
I forgot to pay my satellite TV bill and now I'm stuck with only 30 channels.
Never forget another payment to the companies that own our lives while classing it up at the same time with this handmade Wine Cork Bulletin Board. Pin up important documents, letters, bills, lists, keys, etc, while showing family and friends you know a lot about wine (you don't).
I've decrusted my sandwich nicely with the decruster, but freakin' Steve keeps stealing my sandwich at work because it looks so delicious.
Stealing another person's lunch at work should be a crime punishable by death. Especially if it's a beautifully decrusted sandwich. While Obama is working on getting that law passed, stop potential lunch thefts by applying a little sandwich bag trickery.
I fell asleep in Chem class. Now my neck hurts.
Show your professor his class is boring by strapping on the Arm Pillo. Stick it to the airline and show them that they can't keep you awake with their tortuous seats by strapping on the Arm Pillo and punching the CEO in the face. Let your friend know her car conversations are boring by strapping on the Arm Pillo to the seat belt and falling asleep. Am I missing anything?
I want to show my friends a video of a fat squirrel stuck in a bird feeder, but my iPhone screen is too small for everyone to see.
Be the life of the party with this Pico Projector. It not only works with iPods/iPhones/etc, but also with digital cameras, portable DVD players, and more. Imagine showing up to a party and busting this out and showing everyone your favorite cat vid. The ladies will be on you in no time!
I uh spilled coffee on my pants and have to walk around all day with a stain.
Let's not lie. You crapped your pants and half the day has gone by with people giving you dirty looks. Your underwear has crusted over and the grease from the bacon in your pockets has been dripping down your leg and into your shoe the entire day. It's time to clean up for god's sake. Good thing you have Emergency Underpants.
My laptop screen is too small to play Starcraft and watch Jersey Shore at the same time.
That sounds like a real situation you got right there. Fortunately, the creators of the Spacebook Dual 17inch LCD Laptop had you in mind when they were building it. Now, imagine showing up in a Starbucks with this badass and playing Microsoft Pinball while the hipsters rage on their 9in Macbook Pros.
I have to carry my lunchbox separately because I fill my workbag with stolen office items everyday.
You say, "Why don't you just put that stapler INSIDE the lunch box and the lunch box inside your bag?" And we say, "Why don't you shutup? The amount of space saved is equal to 593% in gross product dollars of stolen revenue items." The Pack-Away Lunchbox flattens for easier storage giving you more space for stolen goods.
I have ADD and can't stick with a book to read.
This bookcase chair or chair bookcase will satisfy you ADD tendencies and indecisiveness by having all your books always within arm's reach. The actual chair's angle is adjustable for different tasks and has three areas for book storage. Be the commander of your book club with this awesome chair.
from Yanko Design
I have to wait 5 minutes for water to boil for my "instant" ramen.
It kind of defeats the purpose of instant ramen if you have to boil or microwave water, right? You must have not read the directions on the ramen pack. The part that says you need to have the Zojirushi Water Boiler for instant hot water in order to have instant ramen. Duh! It keeps piping hot (up to 208F) water right at your fingertips.
My friends think I'm uncultured because I don't have artwork hanging in my house.
Slap your friends in the face by getting one of these super cool personalized waveform art pieces. Send them a sound file and they'll take the waveform to create a unique design printed on a high quality canvas. Now your friends will be in awe of the giant "PENIS" on the wall.
I haven't changed the batteries in the smoke detector for years, but I'm too lazy to check it.
I bet you'd pay more attention if your smoke detector was now a bird. Maybe you'd feed it and pet it. Maybe you'll even change its batteries every once in awhile. Hey, they're serious business and may save your life one day. This one is stylish and effective, with a 1.5 year battery life and 85db alarm signal.
I forgot to bring my adapter so I can't charge my iPad.
Forget about any Apple adapter and forget about adapters that charge through USB. Just have a bunch of these Belkin 6 Outlet Surge Protector with USBs around the home and office and never have to look for those silly adapters again. It comes with 6 outlets and 2 convenient USB ports at the top.
Now that I use f.lux, my eyes don't hurt when staring at my monitor at night, but I can't see my keyboard too well.
Mantis is a pretty sweet looking clip-on LED light that runs on batteries (30 hours). It clips on wherever to wherever you need it to and it also transforms into a light stand for when you need it by itself.
No matter how many pairs of wool socks I wear, my feet always still cold.
Cold feet suck. It sucks even more when the rest of your body is nice and toasty, but your feet is a frigid block of...feet. These heated slippers come with an insert you pop into the microwave, then into the slippers. It then slowly transfers the heat to your feet while releasing a nice blended scent (not of your feet). How luxurious is that!?
I'm late for a full day of classes and forgot to brew a new pot of coffee. FML
These days, we want everything better, faster, stronger, smarter. Well, the AeroPress Coffee will punch you in the face with burning hot coffee if you let it. But really, it just makes really good coffee and espressos really really fast. How fast? How about 1 minute for delicious fresh coffee? Fast enough for ya?
The entire office now knows I like Justin Beiber because YouTube keeps freakin' autoplaying videos!!!
Add one more item to the list that helps you procrastinate in secrecy. Stop Autoplay for Youtube is a Chrome browser plug-in that does just that, while allowing the video to buffer. For Firefox users. For IE users, get Google Chrome.
from Chrome Web Store
I'm going to be sluggish all day because I forgot to bring my mug to work. But I have all these canning jars laying around...
Watch out MacGyver, you're about to transform that canning jar into a portable mug! Cappow is a creative invention that lets you attach a lid to that jar you have for easy spill-free drinking. Now all you have to do is make up a reason as to why you're drinking out of a jar!
My coffee is cold but I'm too lazy to leave my desk to reheat it.
Mr. Coffee's Mug Warmer keeps your cup of joe hot right there on your desk. Its heating pad has a large surface area so it accommodates many different cup sizes and has a convenient on/off switch so you don't set your office on fire, Milton. For a USB version, check this out.
Why are the plugs for my cell phone and laptop so big? I can only charge one thing at once.
If you're looking for a simpler solution than the Pivot Power Outlet, check out this 360 Rotating Outlet. Just plug your device in and rotate it in any direction you want, allowing space for another one of those giant plugs to fit.
The gap between my seat and console is like a black hole. I keep losing my change and can't fit my hand through to retrieve it.
The Drop Stop is an incredibly simple invention to stop just that; things falling through that gap between the seat and console. It fits snuggly into the gap with a space for the seatbelt buckle and allows seat adjustments without disturbance. (Warning: Link has Autoplay YouTube video)
from Buy Drop Stop
I like to stay up late and play Skyrim. But, the light from my 32inch monitor is too bright and hurts my eyes.
f.lux is a free program that automatically adjusts the color of your computer's display to match the time of day and the lighting in your room. Just set your time zone and lighting specifications and f.lux will automatically transition your monitor to a color much more easy on the eyes.
Sometimes, my head hurts from thinking about money all day. Maybe it'd hurt less if while thinking about money, I got a head massage.
This crazy contraption lets you massage your own head and boy does it feel good. It has 92 flexible bristles that massage your scalp as you use the handles on the sides to run it back and forth. Feels good man. For a more tame version, check out this simple one.
from Japan Trend Shop
I have so many gadgets that I have to charge but the stupid adapters take up too much space on the power strip to charge them all at once.
The Pivot Power Outlet is pretty dang useful for you then. It's an adjustable power strip so you can fit all those large adapters and charge everything at once. Your time is so valuable! Since it is flexible, it also fits nicely into corners and around things.
I'm into plants and stuff, but have nowhere to grow them in my 30th floor urban apartment.
How about on the railing of your apartment balcony? Betcha hadn't thought of that, right? To do that, you'll need Greenbo's Railing Planter. It fits over almost any railing without any need for adjustments and is made from durable plastics that protects it from water and sun damage. Get plantin'!
I have no space to put my Starbucks venti triple-shot double mocha choco latte frappuccino, iPhone, prescription moisturizing lotion, and other stuff I don't need in my tiny Mini Cooper S. Everything is so cluttered!
Travelstacks fits right into one of your cup holders and gives you the extra storage space that you *cough* need *cough*. It can rotate 360 degrees so it doesn't block other valuable areas.