Remember back when you were just a wee little lad; when you had no responsibilities and the three things on your todo list for the day were: find worms, eat worms, and play with Steve from across the street?...(read more)
Look at the picture above you. Look at that beautiful glistening bacon grease. Look at that chewy rubbery bacon fat. Look at that crispity crisp bacon edge. If this doesn’t make your mouth water, then you might as well become a...(read more)
Every passing day brings us closer and closer to the 2012 Apocalypse as predicted by the Mayan who carved ‘December 21st, 2012’ and then quit his job because he was sick of it and wanted to be a DJ....(read more)
Making 5 course meals every night of the week just got easier.
Even though I can send out tweets and surf the internet with my fridge, it's still the plainest looking thing in my kitchen!
Fridge technology has advanced throughout the years, but the plain old white or gray design has continued to haunt our kitchens! Kudu Fridge Magnets are here to change that! These aren't your mother's magnets, they're giant ones that cover your entire fridge.
from Kudu Magnets
My body deserves the organiest of the organic ingredients available. Who is this Morton and why should I trust him?
You grew this apple in your own backyard you say? Well this venison was salted with my own fury when I killed the deer with my bare hands. Then seasoned with my sadness as I realized what I've done. How you like them apples?
from Monster Supplies
The gravy touched the rice so I had to throw away my entire dinner.
It's heartbreaking to throw away Foie Gras, but you have no choice since your food has been defiled. This food separator is technically used for portion control, but we live in America hahaha. This handy item keeps food items separated so your gravy doesn't soak your biscuit or your salad doesn't get into your grilled bald eagle.
My maid refuses the pick up the peanut shells I throw on the floor because the trash can is too far away.
Instead of getting a new maid, try using this double dish by kitchen innovator, Joseph Joseph. The top dish is removable and when sitting on top of the bottom dish, provides three openings that hides shells or pits. Or you can use both as separate bowls and just eat more peanuts.
They say fresh juice is healthier than store-bought, but I'm too lazy to do it.
Straight from the land of innovation, Gurefuru Chuchu acts as a super simple to use juicer while being super cute at the same time. Just cut a hole, stick Gurefuru Chuchu in, turn the handle around a bit, and bam - fresh juice. If you're still not convinced you need this, then I dare you to not watch this video.
from Japan Trend Shop
I left the syrup on the pancakes for too long and now they're all soggy.
There are very few things in the world more disgusting than soggy pancakes. The stuff they eat on Fear Factor, for one. The pancake plate solves this first world problem. It's elevated on one side so the syrup drips into a reservoir keeping your pancake nice and dry. May we suggest Bacon Syrup to go with that?
There's no more clean cups so I have to drink water with my hands like some Victorian beggar.
Get rid of that nasty cup you use to rinse out your mouth after brushing. It sits in the bathroom all day collecting microscopic doo doo particles. But, have a little more respect for yourself and don't take water from your hand like some uneducated monster. Tapi fits onto any tap. Squeeze the bottom and it becomes a fountain.
The shape of my fried egg was smaller than my sandwich. I had to endure few bites that was only bread like some carnival orphan.
Make every bite full of free-range organic farmers market eggy deliciousness with Joie's Sandwich Egg Shaper. It's made of heat resistant silicone so you can just pop it on the pan, crack an egg, and bam, perfectly shaped egg for your sammich.
I make such elaborate meals, I have nowhere to put all my cookie utensils when cooking. I have the Pot Clip, but that only holds one thing.
Put your utensils wherever you feel like with this Elevated Utensil Set. Don't worry about getting nasty hair and nail clippings stuck to your ladle if you lay it down on your countertop with this colorful set. And stop clipping your toenails in the kitchen, they're getting into the soup!
My forehead is sore from showing my friends how many cans I can crush with my head.
After showing off your machismo, show off your gadgetchismo by crushing the shit out of cans with the CAAAN RAAAAM. It acts as a nice reservoir for cans and a reminder of how much an alcoholic you are. Stores up to 10 cans before you need to activate the crushinator. Feels good man.
I took too long to finish my cereal and now it's all soggy.
This ingenious cereal bowl design separates the cereal from the milk, keeping your Fruit Loops crunchy forever. Just scoop a little cereal, then a little milk, sprinkle a little bacon and into your mouth it goes. The only thing bad about this is no after-cereal milk. The design is also great for things like salsa and chips, soup and crackers.
My hot dog is too hot so I have to wait. Now my bun is cold.
Anyone used to just eat the hot dog raw out of the pack? No? Maybe just me then. The hot dog juice was the best. Anyways, this cool retro hot dog and bun toaster will save you time and toast you the perfect hot dog. No more microwaving and getting those weird surface hot dog burns with hot as lava innards.
I have a master key, password, record, why don't I have a master tool in the kitchen?
Behold, from the same country that brought you the master tool Swiss army knife and Swatch, is this master opener. Smite down any pesky objects impeding you from its inner deliciousness. This multi-tool can open: cans, flip tops, screw tops, pull tabs, and can break the vacuum seal of screw jar tops.
My laziness overpowers my craving for bacon.
We've all had those midnight bacon cravings but were too lazy to satiate it. Eating bacon raw just doesn't have the same gusto. Microwaving bacon at the office leaves them too oily for when you stuff them in your pocket for later. Do you also have all these problems? The lifesaving Microwave Bacon Cooker cooks 10 strips at a time and lets the fat drip down as it cooks.
I finished a box of donuts and want more, but I'm too embarrassed to show my face at Krispy Kreme twice in the same day.
Shame and embarrassment keeps us from doing some things we want to do. Sometimes it's for the better, but in this case it means no second box of donuts for you. Sad Face :(. Fortunately, money solves everything and you can just make donuts at home with the Sunbeam Donut Maker!
I made too much spaghetti and now have to look at the wet, flippy floppy, limp, left-over spaghetti I can't eat. Gross!
Never make the wrong amount of spaghetti or noodly doodly base dish with this cool spaghetti measuring tool. It has slots for different portions (adult male, female, child, and HORSE!) so you'll know how much spaghetti a real person can eat. I personally enjoy just the horse's head portion.
from reykjavik store
I think I have mild OCD and everything has to be in line or else I get a little murder-y.
OCD the new asperger's didn't you know? It's the new trendy disorder to have. Better jump on the bandwagon before all those hipster kids make it uncool again. You can start off with this OCD Cutting Board.draoB gnittuC DCO siht htiw ffo trats nac uoY 123 123 123 knock knock knock
My steamer basket doesn't fit in my new pot :(
We aren't living in the stone-age anymore my friend. It's time to modernize and get a steamer basket that fits in any sized pot. The Lotus Steamer Basket is a seriously cool design that saves storage space and has adjustable sides to fit most pans. There's also a finger guard that protects your fingers from scalding when lifting it out of the pot.
from Joseph Joseph
I was eating chocolate cake while making spaghetti and totally forgot it was boiling and now have water all over the stove.
Next time stick this thing onto the top of your pot, turn the fire on high, go watch a movie and come back to a spill-free stove-top thanks to Kuhn Rikon's Large Spill Stop Lid. It comes in three different colors and we think it'll look pretty cool as a hat too.
from Sur la table
I have to wait 5 minutes for water to boil for my "instant" ramen.
It kind of defeats the purpose of instant ramen if you have to boil or microwave water, right? You must have not read the directions on the ramen pack. The part that says you need to have the Zojirushi Water Boiler for instant hot water in order to have instant ramen. Duh! It keeps piping hot (up to 208F) water right at your fingertips.
I can't decide between making apple pie or lemon meringue pie.
After finding this site, you are a professional first world liver. What you want, you get. And if that want is two pies, then doggone it, you gonna get it. This pan has a split in the middle so you can make two different pies at once. What more can I say? Get it now!
I have no more room in my fridge for bottles and/or they keep rolling around. How am I suppose to be as cool as Mr. Chi City with this travesty?
The Fridge Monkey is a very simple solution to a great problem. The picture is self explanatory as to how it works. Things we think can be stacked on the monkey: breadsticks, churros, freeze-pops, those old school plastic kool-aid bottles.
I gag whenever I eat a sandwich. The crust is literally the most disgusting thing in the world.
I feel your pain and so do many other people. Praise the lord for Wonder's Sandwich Sealer and Decruster for it banishes the evil crust from this world and protects the sandwich in an impenetrable seal. Begone crusts! You aren't allowed here!
I got too drunk because I didn't have a wine glass and used a pitcher instead.
This fun glass is printed with measurements for various alcoholic drinks. Want beer? Just fill it up to one of the marks for "beer" and remind yourself not to get so drunk you make out with your pet hamster.
I couldn't find my tumeric spice and now my homemade curry tastes like crap.
Wars were fought and continents were discovered in the name of spices. Now, you can have them right at your fingertips. Never lose those tiny spice bottles again with this magnetic spice rack. It looks cool while saving you counter space.
I watch Parks and Rec and wish I was a manly man like Ron Swanson. Maybe if I could make homemade jerky...
Oh this jerky? No, I didn't buy it. I made it myself. With a gun. Yeah that's right. I make my own jerky with a gun. The Weston Jerky Gun makes making jerky easy so you can impress your friends. Just watch this video and start making your own jerky. JERKY!
I love strawberries but it always takes so long to remove the leaves and hull.
Like the Corn Stripper, OXO brings another inventive time saving device into the kitchen. The Strawberry Huller removes all the unwanted parts in one fell swoop. No more messing with dangerous knives and eating around the stem!
Why is it so hard to slice a bagel and even harder to slice it evenly? SERIOUSLY, WHY???
The Bagel Guillotine is as awesome as it sounds. Just put your bagel into the slot and push down on the blade to cut that sonovabitch into a perfectly sliced bagel. Saving time and blood loss, the Bagel Guillotine is easy to use and dishwasher safe.
I spend all this time cutting up my vegetables but getting them all into the pot is the hardest part.
The Encanal Carving Board makes the hardest part the easiest. After chopping up all your goodies, just guide them through the channel and into your pot, frying pan, container, or whatever they belong in. No more messes or wasted food!
from Amore De Madre
I hurt my wrist in a skiing accident in Aspen last year. Now, it hurts when I try to open jars. But really, I just don't have the strength.
Who needs healthy wrists or muscles when you have the EZ Off Jar Opener? It opens any type of jars easily with its non-slip jar opening mechanism. It also hides nicely under your cabinet so your friends won't make fun of you.
I love delicious buttery freshly steamed corn but hate the mess it makes when I use my hands. Yucky!
This item does exactly as it's named. It strips the corn right off the cob and gets the messiness out of the way so you can eat in peace. It's easy to use and dishwasher safe. The blades are made from stainless steel too!
I keep spilling my mixes all over the marble counter-top and it's a hassle to clean up!
The Slip-On Pour Spout from RSVP is a flexible silicone spout that easily attaches onto your mixing bowls, pots, pans, and more. Get controlled and accurate pours and no more messy spills. It's also dishwasher safe and heat-resistant up to 480 degrees.
I'm making Japanese Yosenabe and gosh darn it, I burned my hands again handling the pot. Now how am I going to play golf tomorrow?
Trudeau saves the day again with their Silicone Pinch Grips. These silicone grips will protect your precious little thumbs and fingers from heat up to 482 degrees F.
I keep dripping my expensive homemade shark fin soup on the stovetop and it's so hard to clean between the grills and stuff.
First, you shouldn't be having shark fin soup you heartless bastard. But, for all other stove-related activities, the Trudeau Utensil Pot Clip prevents drips, misplacement, saves space, and much more. Heat-resistant up to 600F and dishwasher safe! BOO shark fin soup, GO pot clip!
I always have to buy new bags of chips to munch on when I watch shows on my 72" HD 3D TV because the bag from yesterday is all stale! Yuck!
Worry no more! The Copco Bag Cap will keep your silly chips fresh and crunchy until you finish them. The cap will also work for anything contained in a bag!