Remember back when you were just a wee little lad; when you had no responsibilities and the three things on your todo list for the day were: find worms, eat worms, and play with Steve from across the street?...(read more)
Look at the picture above you. Look at that beautiful glistening bacon grease. Look at that chewy rubbery bacon fat. Look at that crispity crisp bacon edge. If this doesn’t make your mouth water, then you might as well become a...(read more)
Every passing day brings us closer and closer to the 2012 Apocalypse as predicted by the Mayan who carved ‘December 21st, 2012′ and then quit his job because he was sick of it and wanted to be a DJ....(read more)
If there’s a robot that will walk the dog and wash your car at the same time, then you’ll probably see it here
I like to ride my vespa around everywhere, but people make fun of me cause it looks dorky.
Walking sucks and vespas make you look like a mall cop. Trade it in for this sweet looking all electric scooter. It gets whopping 40 miles on one charge and charges through a regular outlet. Taking it out on the streets gets you up to 35MPH or just zip around in your palace like a boss.
from Boxx Corp
My friend had a chocolate fountain for the Super Bowl party this year. I'm hosting it next year and there's no way I can beat a chocolate fountain.
Chocolate fountains are great and very few things can beat it at a party. One thing that can, though, is homemade beer. Impress the shit out of your friends and family with "Steve's Micro Brew" from the far-away lands of Steve's basement and featuring Steve's special sauce.
from Etsy
My laptop screen is too small to play Starcraft and watch Jersey Shore at the same time.
That sounds like a real situation you got right there. Fortunately, the creators of the Spacebook Dual 17inch LCD Laptop had you in mind when they were building it. Now, imagine showing up in a Starbucks with this badass and playing Microsoft Pinball while the hipsters rage on their 9in Macbook Pros.
from GScreenLaptop
The neighborhood homeless man tried to talk to me. Now I have to take a different route to work.
The world is a scary place and you've heard the saying that people are inherently evil. Protect the all your credit cards and cash from that homeless man that asked you for some change, for he might one day rob you. This biometric wallet is virtually indestructible and only opens to your fingerprint. For a less expensive one.
from Dunhill
It takes me 10 minutes to walk from the Starbucks to my office, but only 6 minutes to finish my drink.
Motorized rollerskates? Who woulda thunk it. It seems we've leapfrogged the whole flying cars thing and at least one thing from those crazy 1920s predict the future articles has come true. They see you rollin', but you've zipped by too fast to hear them hatin'.
from spnKIX
It's a quiet Friday night and I'm home alone with only a vacuum. I want to use it, but it doesn't suck hard enough to do anything.
It's time to upgrade to the newest and baddest, buddy. Dyson's brand new DC41 Animal Vacuum will suck the crap out of anything it touches. Its ball technology allows easy movement and turning for wherever you and your vacuum want to go to be alone.
from Amazon.com
Apple hasn't released a new product yet this year so I can't show how technologically savvy I am.
It's time to get your consumerism on cause the "New" iPad is coming. No longer continuing with the tradition numbering scheme, you can immediately see the differences with the "New" iPad. It's white or black with a screen and a button...but the biggest improvement is it comes with 20% less suicides!
from Apple
I have Heated Slippers and a Heated Mattress Pad, but the room itself is still too frigid.
From the hater of all things with blades, techno wizard inventor billionaire, Sir James Dyson, is this fan-less heater. It heats the room faster than its competitors and projects heat further out. Its also safe with no visible heating elements. Use it without the heat as a blade-less fan too!
My iPhone is about 100x better than my nav system, but there's no room for both of them.
We've all tried those pesky FM transmitters or AUX cables and charging docks that leave your console a tangled mess. Get rid of it all with this device that's been a long time coming. Dash fits into the stereo console and provides charging, radio, smartphone capabilities, interchangeable faceplates, and much more.
from Kickstarter
Sometimes I daydream about being James Bond and having all his cool gadgets.
Step 1 to becoming a super spy: get WiFi hotspot capable cufflinks with 2GB USB storage so you can check Facebook wherever you are. Step 2: there is no step two because you're now a man with WiFi with storage cufflinks. Now get ready to go kick some ass and get some international model babes.
from Brookstone
I've been peer-pressured into going camping but haven't watched any of my DVRed Man vs. Wild.
You've heard the saying: 'I feel naked without my phone.' Well you're gonna be feeling naked with doo-doo all over your butt when you're out in the dark, dangerous wild when your iPhone runs out of juice. BioLite's Campstove burns off twigs instead of fuel and converts heat in electric energy so you can charge your devices.
from BioLite
I want to show my friends a video of a fat squirrel stuck in a bird feeder, but my iPhone screen is too small for everyone to see.
Be the life of the party with this Pico Projector. It not only works with iPods/iPhones/etc, but also with digital cameras, portable DVD players, and more. Imagine showing up to a party and busting this out and showing everyone your favorite cat vid. The ladies will be on you in no time!
I've been working out and want to tell all my friends, but I don't want to brag.
Let Fitbit do all the bragging for you. "Yeah I ran 5 miles today. This thing I have tracks and uploads all my activity online so people can see. It's so embarrassing! I don't want everyone to know!" Fitbit Wireless Activity & Sleep Tracker will track steps, distance, and stairs with its 3d accelerometer. It also tracks how well you sleep!
First world living makes life easy but sometimes boring. I wish I could live in a fantasy world.
After a discussion with your friends about which fictional world you would live in, you go home and cry yourself to sleep because you know it'll never happen. You can at least pretend to be a wizard with this remote control wand. Change the channel with a flick or turn down the volume with a twist. Yer a wizard 'Arry!
While I can use the Heated Mattress Pad during the Winter, sleeping ends up uncomfortably hot and sticky during Summer.
This super quiet fan blows cool air between the top and bottom sheets, instantly cooling your whiny face down...and your body too. It comes with a small remote that adjusts the fan's speed.
My life is so exciting I wish someone like Morgan Freeman could narrate it.
We can't get Morgan Freeman, but we'll do you one better: Stephen Fry. And he'll just be waking you up but it's better than nothing! Instead of waking up to screeching and buzzing, wake up gently to Fry's soothing English voice. It comes with 130 different sayings AND one to put you to sleep.
from ThinkGeek
I already have the Lighted Slippers, but I'm scared of ghosts and need more light for when I go for a midnight snack.
You're in luck because Boon Glo's Nightlight doubles as a weapon as you chuck it at the ghost of Larry King staring at you in the mirror while you pee. It comes in multiple colors, have no electronic parts in them, and don't get warm. Check it out!
I haven't changed the batteries in the smoke detector for years, but I'm too lazy to check it.
I bet you'd pay more attention if your smoke detector was now a bird. Maybe you'd feed it and pet it. Maybe you'll even change its batteries every once in awhile. Hey, they're serious business and may save your life one day. This one is stylish and effective, with a 1.5 year battery life and 85db alarm signal.
from Charles&Marie
Sometimes, my head hurts from thinking about money all day. Maybe it'd hurt less if while thinking about money, I got a head massage.
This crazy contraption lets you massage your own head and boy does it feel good. It has 92 flexible bristles that massage your scalp as you use the handles on the sides to run it back and forth. Feels good man. For a more tame version, check out this simple one.
from Japan Trend Shop
I like to do as many things possible laying down on my sofa or bed. I can watch TV and eat, but I have to get up to use the computer.
Spend more time in bed with this portable laptop bed tray. It's adjustable to a complete 360 degrees to fit to any body position you're in. We imagine iPads, tablets, food and drinks could also be placed on this so that's a big bonus!
My friends make fun of me for carrying pepper spray on my keychain.
Look out brass knuckles cause we got a new bad boy in town and he's packin' 950,000 volts. The Knuckle Blaster Stun wears like tradition brass knuckles, but packs a little surprise with each hit. Send attackers (or previously mentioned friends) into shock as you uppercut then in the balls and prance away like a little girl.
The Camping Card was a huge hit with my friends when we camped in my backyard. Now I need a more heavy duty set for public park camping.
Show you friends you mean business with this Everyday Carry Multi-Tool Kit. These small multiuse tools attaches to your keychain so they are always with you. Each tool is super durable and it comes with a pry bar, screwdriver key, waterproof lighter, and tweezers.
from Kaufmann Merc.
I forgot which level I parked on and spent 30 minutes walking around looking for my car.
Was it level 3? Or 4? I think it was the one with the pink signs. Never have to deal with forgotten parking spots or backtracking again with this super easy to use Bushnell GPS BackTrack Personal Locator. It only has 2 buttons, one for marking a location, and the other to select and display the direction and distance back.
I was eating saltines with rare Russian caviar while watching the latest torrented episode of Breaking Bad. Now there is an audible crunch whenever I press the letters "E," "R," and "L."
Research shows that our hands are dirtier than something real dirty, so who knows what's growing inside the depths of our keyboards. Logitech's Washable Keyboard is a must have for parents with teenage sons and everyone else.
from Amazon
Mob Wives has come on. I can't find the remote and I'm too lazy to get up to change the channel. I've sat through 6 episodes so far...
Most of the time we don't know where the remote is, but when was the last time you lost a big brown pillow? The obvious next step in this evolutionary process is to combine the two. This pillow remote control is the result of decades of pillow-remote mating and ain't it beautiful sight.
My fingers get stiff and ache after 8 hours of pwning 8 year olds in BF3.
Strap on this baby between intense gaming sessions to give your hands and fingers a much needed stretch. The Xtensor also makes your reaction time faster while relieving cramps. And its an effective treatment for tennis elbow and arthritis!
A homeless man heard my pockets jingling after I told him I didn't have change. It was my keys.
We live in a modern world. There's no reason we should be keeping keys that access our expensive belongings on a flimsy metal rings that was probably invented 5,000 years ago. The Keyport consolidates up to 6 keys in a modern & sleek design. It even comes with a USB, LED, and bottle opener.
from Keyport
They say fresh juice is healthier than store-bought, but I'm too lazy to do it.
Straight from the land of innovation, Gurefuru Chuchu acts as a super simple to use juicer while being super cute at the same time. Just cut a hole, stick Gurefuru Chuchu in, turn the handle around a bit, and bam - fresh juice. If you're still not convinced you need this, then I dare you to not watch this video.
I watch Parks and Rec and wish I was a manly man like Ron Swanson. Maybe if I could make homemade jerky...
Oh this jerky? No, I didn't buy it. I made it myself. With a gun. Yeah that's right. I make my own jerky with a gun. The Weston Jerky Gun makes making jerky easy so you can impress your friends. Just watch this video and start making your own jerky. JERKY!
Whilst intoxicated, I wandered into a dark corridor and was met with a man whose motives were questionable. Needless to say I feared for my life.
If I had a dollar for every time a would-be robber asked for my belt and I could have quickly pulled out a knife, I'd have zero dollars. But, this belt buckle knife still is an awesome idea to fend off potential attackers. Nothing is scarier than a man with a belt buckle knife and pants on the floor.
from Bowen Knife
That son of a bitch fly just landed on my freshly made tiramisu cake! Now I have to throw the whole thing away...
Look at that fly zipping around like he owns the place. Taunting you at every swipe you take and now you're out of breath because eating cake everyday is unhealthy for you. It's time to go terminator on Mr. Fly and bust a salt cap in his ass with your BUG-A-SALT!
from Bugasalt
It's like a war-zone when I have to take a dump on protein shake day. I wipe and wipe but it just doesn't stop.
It's the 21st century. There's no reason our hands have to be that close to that amount of ****. Astor's non-electric water spraying attachable bidet is a must have. A refreshing spray leaves you using less toilet paper and a kissable...never mind. Or for Japanese authenticity.
I have so many gadgets that I have to charge but the stupid adapters take up too much space on the power strip to charge them all at once.
The Pivot Power Outlet is pretty dang useful for you then. It's an adjustable power strip so you can fit all those large adapters and charge everything at once. Your time is so valuable! Since it is flexible, it also fits nicely into corners and around things.
from Quirky
I finished a box of donuts and want more, but I'm too embarrassed to show my face at Krispy Kreme twice in the same day.
Shame and embarrassment keeps us from doing some things we want to do. Sometimes it's for the better, but in this case it means no second box of donuts for you. Sad Face :(. Fortunately, money solves everything and you can just make donuts at home with the Sunbeam Donut Maker!
Now that I use f.lux, my eyes don't hurt when staring at my monitor at night, but I can't see my keyboard too well.
Mantis is a pretty sweet looking clip-on LED light that runs on batteries (30 hours). It clips on wherever to wherever you need it to and it also transforms into a light stand for when you need it by itself.
I let my beer sit too long and it's lost all its foamy goodness.
Wish you could always have beer that tastes like it just came straight out the tap, but don't want to pay 10 bucks for a pint? Check out this sweet mug that creates the perfectly poured beer every single time. Pour about half a mugs worth and hit the switch to create the perfect amount of foam. It's from Japan so of course there's a sweet video.
Hate leaving your warm and comfy home when it's raining because you can't see anything in front of you when you use your giant clunky umbrella? Yeah, me too.
The Goggles Umbrella has got your back...and head and front! This umbrella protects you from urban city acid rain while giving you, as the name implies, a transparent goggle-shaped window so you can see everything in front of you.
from UncommonGoods
The power went out and all my gadgets are out of battery. Now I'm going to have to talk to a real human being.
Wait! Not yet! With this portable solar charger, you'll never need to have human interaction as long as the sun rises. Charge any USB powered devices with sunlight and it also includes a nifty LED light. The only thing is you may have to step outside the house...
I'm into plants and stuff, but have nowhere to grow them in my 30th floor urban apartment.
How about on the railing of your apartment balcony? Betcha hadn't thought of that, right? To do that, you'll need Greenbo's Railing Planter. It fits over almost any railing without any need for adjustments and is made from durable plastics that protects it from water and sun damage. Get plantin'!
from Yanko Design
I'm late for a full day of classes and forgot to brew a new pot of coffee. FML
These days, we want everything better, faster, stronger, smarter. Well, the AeroPress Coffee will punch you in the face with burning hot coffee if you let it. But really, it just makes really good coffee and espressos really really fast. How fast? How about 1 minute for delicious fresh coffee? Fast enough for ya?
I lost my bottle opener and can't open my bottle and my hand hurts if I do it by hand.
Since you now have the Fridge Monkey, you need something open all those pretty bottles, right? Forget clunky bottle openers that get lost in the drawer void. This magnet just upgraded your fridge with the "Open Bottle" ability. Fridge, I choose you!
I have no space to put my Starbucks venti triple-shot double mocha choco latte frappuccino, iPhone, prescription moisturizing lotion, and other stuff I don't need in my tiny Mini Cooper S. Everything is so cluttered!
Travelstacks fits right into one of your cup holders and gives you the extra storage space that you *cough* need *cough*. It can rotate 360 degrees so it doesn't block other valuable areas.
Why is it so hard to slice a bagel and even harder to slice it evenly? SERIOUSLY, WHY???
The Bagel Guillotine is as awesome as it sounds. Just put your bagel into the slot and push down on the blade to cut that sonovabitch into a perfectly sliced bagel. Saving time and blood loss, the Bagel Guillotine is easy to use and dishwasher safe.
When I charge too many gadgets at once, the wires get all tangled and look messy.
Brighten up your home or office with a little fake green grass. But hey, it also doubles as a charging station so it doesn't just take up space for nothing! Run your wires through the bottom and lay your iPhones on the soft surface for a neat and refreshing change.
The gap between my seat and console is like a black hole. I keep losing my change and can't fit my hand through to retrieve it.
The Drop Stop is an incredibly simple invention to stop just that; things falling through that gap between the seat and console. It fits snuggly into the gap with a space for the seatbelt buckle and allows seat adjustments without disturbance. (Warning: Link has Autoplay YouTube video)
from Buy Drop Stop
My hot dog is too hot so I have to wait. Now my bun is cold.
Anyone used to just eat the hot dog raw out of the pack? No? Maybe just me then. The hot dog juice was the best. Anyways, this cool retro hot dog and bun toaster will save you time and toast you the perfect hot dog. No more microwaving and getting those weird surface hot dog burns with hot as lava innards.
The TV remote still uses batteries so I have to go buy some like some technophobe from the 90s.
Why do disposable batteries still exist? It's bad for the environment and super expensive. But, if you're left with no choice, check out these USB rechargeable batteries. Super convenient and easy to use, just pop off the top and it becomes a USB device you can plug into your computer to recharge.
I made too much spaghetti and now have to look at the wet, flippy floppy, limp, left-over spaghetti I can't eat. Gross!
Never make the wrong amount of spaghetti or noodly doodly base dish with this cool spaghetti measuring tool. It has slots for different portions (adult male, female, child, and HORSE!) so you'll know how much spaghetti a real person can eat. I personally enjoy just the horse's head portion.
from reykjavik store
The last few gulps of my coffee are always stronger and sweeter than the rest of the coffee.
We've gone and come back from the moon, built the Large Hadron Collider, gave Glenn Beck his own show, we shouldn't have to stir our own drinks like some sort of criminal. This self-stirring mug makes sure your beverage is always mixed thoroughly with a touch of a button. It comes with a 4000RMP motor and splash-proof lid!
I hurt my wrist in a skiing accident in Aspen last year. Now, it hurts when I try to open jars. But really, I just don't have the strength.
Who needs healthy wrists or muscles when you have the EZ Off Jar Opener? It opens any type of jars easily with its non-slip jar opening mechanism. It also hides nicely under your cabinet so your friends won't make fun of you.
